It's another Sunday night. I got home at around 10 (thankfully no big jam) so I can just lie down and ponder... bout life and stuff. Sounds deep eh. Nah I'm a random thinker. It's dangerous because what I think could be misleading or self destructive... ok no that's out of the topic.
I want to talk about handling emotions. It is important. Like very very important. Emotions in relationships, jobs, families, your own life, etc.
I had a job before this current one. Ok FYI I am not trying to say my previous boss is not good, or the job is not good. It is interesting and something I love to do. But yea. I have to say it was a big part of me who was not satisfied about my life... well there were certain issues. At that moment, me being in my working place having my job was an issue. I DIDN'T LIKE IT. I used to love it but I didn't like it anymore. It was scary. It was always like WHAT I'M DOING HERE I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS PLACE. Capslock is to project my fear and how lost I was.
And job was one of the issues. There were others too. I didn't like being at home. I wanted to go out. I felt like I was trapped. Like I was a piranha, I was supposed to be in the Amazon River attacking tourists tearing down boats and not an aquarium in New York City. No that's an exaggerated example. I'm not from NYC or Amazon. And I didn't mean I come from a broken family.
The point is it doesn't matter where you are, what you do, or anything else. It is about whether you like it or not. And as for me, I didn't like how my life was.
So I made a move! Hola now my life is anew. As in new environment and work and friends. I like these changes. I feel like these changes meet my needs. For example, higher salary, consistent working hours and work load, good future career prospect and so on. And I remind myself to not let me go back to the state where I was at. It was terrifying.
What I want to say is, make sure you are happy. Sometimes we make sacrifices for life, for people we love, for responsibilities and all, but don't make yourself unhappy because of them.
I am saying this because... sometimes I feel like all these are trying to suppress me (or I suppress myself with them). Responsibilities, expectations, even my dreams... things which were supposed to help me to grow have happened to become those which tied me down. Sometimes I think, it's probably me, I'm a pessimist... nah screw you little insecure inner voice of mine.
I have dreams! I want to go to a strange land to work and further study! I want to live a different life! I'm not just going to work, earn some money, get married and have some kids. I'm going to do something great! I mean, I want to get married and have kids of course. But I want to make use of my life and time. I am already 25! Time is so precious.
Don't limit yourself. Don't let anything discourage you.
Ok was distracted. Back to the handling emotions part.
Sometimes you know when the dissatisfactions are piling up. Probably it's your job, relationships, life, or just anything. Handle the little dissatisfactions or unhappiness before they grow and kill you or your relationships. I once had a friend whom I allowed that to happen between us. It became an exhausting relationship for me because every conversation of us ended up with arguments and it drained me. I felt like I rather he didn't try talk to me. And then it became bitter.
Well I'm currently in another stage of life where I face new challenges. Sometimes I feel like I'm becoming bitter again. Handle the feelings before they got worse. It's easier to get rid of them before they rooted and grow stronger in me.
Deep much? No knock knock jokes or whatever. Well it's just my thoughts. Hopefully you be happy, whoever who is reading this. And don't worry, life seems like a biatch but things will work out fine. So be happy. Good night.
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