“My grace is sufficient for you"

I dislike trials. I dislike being poked in my weaknesses. I dislike hardships. I dislike facing the unknowns. I dislike not being in control.

That was me speaking on the behalf of my own flesh and willpower and self. A lot of I, I, and I.

January was like a honeymoon month. Last year was a year of restoration to me. 2016 is the year of growth. I was reaping from the joy from that restoration and having a good time of my life. I am still grateful. I thank God, really. But I also know there will be hardships if I want to develop into a deeper relationship with God.

I was reading a book and it talked about fear. Fear of failures, fear of not meeting the standards of men, etc. And I can feel this fear in my head. I have the fear of failing (again). I don't want to fail God. I feel that my focus is so much on myself and what I can do (that's the problem -- "what I can do") about things. I think dependence on God is a lesson I need to learn.

I can see my fear and weaknesses swelling over this period. In Hebrews 12:1-3 it says:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

There were a lot of runners in the race of faith who set good examples for me! One of them is Lord Jesus Himself! Christ did not shrink back when He faced death. In Hebrews 10:38-39,

And,
“But my righteous one will live by faith.
And I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back.”
But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.

Do not shrink back! Press in!

I prayed to God about my fear and how I feel about my weaknesses, and I broke down at this verse I read, which is in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10,

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

God's power is made perfect in my weakness. So I need to delight in weakness so that God will be lifted up and glorified in my weakness.

The phrase "For when I am weak, then I am strong" always amazes me. I don't understand how. It is above the norms, above the logical thinking. I know there are greater things ahead in my journey with God. I don't know if I will fail or if I will fall, but God, may Your will be done, may Your name be glorified.

Praise God.