New wine skin: season of enlargement

I think this is my season of renewal and enlargement. The church's theme of the year is "the Year of Growth".

This is a story of my colleague. She's a tall lady. When she was a kid, one day she complained to her mother that her body ached. So her mum brought her to a doctor. The doctor said it was probably her growing too fast.

Growth means change. Growth means pain and sacrifice. It doesn't mean suffering necessarily, but I believe in order to grow we need to give up on something. It's probably time, or energy, or certain things on the priority list.

I feel that in this season I need to learn on negotiating. I am not a person who likes to push or confront people. Sometimes I'd rather just "minding my own business". But that's being selfish. Since God has freely given to me, I need to do the same too.

Let's pray for an enlargement of territory!

“My grace is sufficient for you"

I dislike trials. I dislike being poked in my weaknesses. I dislike hardships. I dislike facing the unknowns. I dislike not being in control.

That was me speaking on the behalf of my own flesh and willpower and self. A lot of I, I, and I.

January was like a honeymoon month. Last year was a year of restoration to me. 2016 is the year of growth. I was reaping from the joy from that restoration and having a good time of my life. I am still grateful. I thank God, really. But I also know there will be hardships if I want to develop into a deeper relationship with God.

I was reading a book and it talked about fear. Fear of failures, fear of not meeting the standards of men, etc. And I can feel this fear in my head. I have the fear of failing (again). I don't want to fail God. I feel that my focus is so much on myself and what I can do (that's the problem -- "what I can do") about things. I think dependence on God is a lesson I need to learn.

I can see my fear and weaknesses swelling over this period. In Hebrews 12:1-3 it says:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

There were a lot of runners in the race of faith who set good examples for me! One of them is Lord Jesus Himself! Christ did not shrink back when He faced death. In Hebrews 10:38-39,

And,
“But my righteous one will live by faith.
And I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back.”
But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.

Do not shrink back! Press in!

I prayed to God about my fear and how I feel about my weaknesses, and I broke down at this verse I read, which is in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10,

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

God's power is made perfect in my weakness. So I need to delight in weakness so that God will be lifted up and glorified in my weakness.

The phrase "For when I am weak, then I am strong" always amazes me. I don't understand how. It is above the norms, above the logical thinking. I know there are greater things ahead in my journey with God. I don't know if I will fail or if I will fall, but God, may Your will be done, may Your name be glorified.

Praise God.

We are all monkeys

[Edited] Papio anubis (olive or anubis baboon), by Stolz, Gary M.
Source: United States Fish and Wildlife Service: Digital Library System. Via Wikimedia Commons.
(I added the caption above)

In case you have no idea what it means: #SomosTodosMacacos! Means we are all monkeys!

FC Barcelone defender Dani Alves sparked a global anti-racism protest by eating a banana that was thrown at him during Sunday's match atVillareal. Alves picked it up, peeled it, and then ate it before taking a corner kick. (Exact words from this 9gag post)

Then there's this trend. WOO!

Speaking about the incident Alves said, “I don’t know who it was, but thanks to whoever threw the banana, the potassium gave me the energy for the two crosses which led to a goal.” (From this post in afrocosmopolitan.com)

Man he has such good EQ. I love bananas they are kinda filling so whenever I am hungry at work I'd eat one.

Anyway we don't know (or do we?) why this person threw a banana at him... maybe it's not racism? He just had a banana and he was like WOW I WANNA GET HIS ATTENTION and then he threw it -- you know, you see people do that in concert. They throw bottles because that's what they have. Or this person wants him to have a banana (ok very unlikely).

Anyway, anti-racism is the BEST. It shouldn't exist in the first place though because racism itself shouldn't be existing. I'm glad to see there are people supporting this cause. :D Cheers, mankind!

Be thankful! (Good Friday and Easter post)

Edited from Pink Sunset Sky on freeaussiestock.com

It is interesting to read that Jesus's death happened during Passover. It is an important festival for Jews. Passover is to remember the event when God ordered the Hebrews to put the blood of sheep or goats on the doorframes. God said to Moses and Aaron "The blood will be a sign for you on the houses where you are, and when I see the blood, I will pass over you. No destructive plague will touch you when I strike Egypt." (Exodus 12:13, NIV).

The Passover symbolises the redemption plan of God for human kind: those who are covered by the blood will be saved. And Jesus is our Passover lamb.

One thing I didn't find out until just now is, in Jewish custom, the lamb is chosen five days before it is killed. So did Jesus enter Jerusalem five days before his death (which is Palm Sunday). He was chosen to be sacrificed with people around shouting "Hosanna!" and praising God.

Pastor preached on this part n the Bible. How would you feel if you were Jesus? I would be like "IRONIC!". But I believe that Jesus focused on the fruit of the suffering, which is to free us from the bondage of sin and death.

Thank God for this Good Friday and Easter. :)

When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.”

--1 Peter 2:23-24, NIV

Read the whole chapter of 1 Peter 2 here.

Grace

Today, I read these verses which I know God spoke to me through it. Hebrews chapter 10:

26 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left,

27 but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.

28 Anyone who rejected the law of Moses died without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses.

29 How much more severely do you think someone deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified them, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace?

30 For we know him who said, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” and again, “The Lord will judge his people.”

31 It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

It's not as if God was threatening me. It was a reminder to NOT keep on sinning deliberately. Also, by doing that it is taking the sacrifice of Jesus lightly, as if telling Him "I don't care if you died for whatever reasons, I don't care. I want to do whatever I want.".

That sounds bad. It has never came to me that someone who sins repeatedly and intentionally is doing that to God.

Do not take God's grace for granted.

Before I Die

Hello.

Today, I want to ask a question.

Before you die, what do you want to do?

Picture taken from the website of Before I Die

So, yea. Think about it. Think about things and people which matter to you.

Anyway I heard it's coming to Singapore. Yay!

Before I die I want to spend the day with my loved ones.

Selfless college athlete who retired so he can donate his bone marrow has two liters removed for unknown leukemia patient

That was the title of the post I read this morning. Your dream, or someone's life. Well most people would say to save someone's life of course, but to do it is not easy.

Thank you, Cameron Lyle, for making my faith in humanity restored.

You're a hero.
- picture taken from MailOnline

Sunday night philosophy

It's another Sunday night. I got home at around 10 (thankfully no big jam) so I can just lie down and ponder... bout life and stuff. Sounds deep eh. Nah I'm a random thinker. It's dangerous because what I think could be misleading or self destructive... ok no that's out of the topic.

I want to talk about handling emotions. It is important. Like very very important. Emotions in relationships, jobs, families, your own life, etc.

I had a job before this current one. Ok FYI I am not trying to say my previous boss is not good, or the job is not good. It is interesting and something I love to do. But yea. I have to say it was a big part of me who was not satisfied about my life... well there were certain issues. At that moment, me being in my working place having my job was an issue. I DIDN'T LIKE IT. I used to love it but I didn't like it anymore. It was scary. It was always like WHAT I'M DOING HERE I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS PLACE. Capslock is to project my fear and how lost I was.

Be happy and awesome

Hello fellow readers, by-passers, whoever who are reading this.

Since I promised myself to blog more... I am a person who thinks a lot. Well I bet everyone does. My thoughts are pretty messed up for myself.

Lately I've been thinking about being myself and being happy. The question is, am I happy with myself? Who I am now, what I am doing, how I do the things I do and all...

Sometimes I don't think I like myself. I always want myself to be better and to do more. That's why I made timetable, I wrote down goals, bla bla. But actual actions are crucial. I can make lots of plans and they might remain empty if I don't do a thing.

This has been a question I've been thinking about and struggling upon it.

And... I feel pretty lost lately. I should do something. I mean, I'm 25, it's not nice to not have plans about my life right?

There are also so many things I want to do.

Sigh. Too sleepy to think right now. Yet time is running out.

Good night, I'll be back.

"Don't Waste Your Life"

Bloody bananas.

When was the last time I made a proper post?

Well it's probably a good sign that I slow down in posting, because lots of posting = lots of free time and troubles in mind.

So, just do some random updates here. It's already March and very soon Q1 will pass. Then people would be like GOSH WHAT CONSTRUCTIVE THINGS HAVE I DONE?!

Do not waste your precious time. Even though I'm not really good in that too, but yer I need to practice that, because I'm already out of time! (I'm turning 25 this October...)

Also, I borrowed this book from my brother. "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper. Haven't started reading yet. I have been reading this and that and other than spending time in church and work, I don't think I have done anything else constructive... SIGH.

There found an image of the book cover.

Things which will NOT make you feel that you have wasted your precious time

watcher by M i x y, on Flickr

1. Reading

I have never felt like I have waste my time reading books. But of course, this statement depends on what books you read.

2. Spending good quality time with friends

Just chit-chatting, having afternoon tea, watching movies together, those are one really good part of my life.

3. Doing good / Helping people

Sometimes it does feel like "Why did I do so much to help him/her it's not even worth it" "No one appreciates what I did". We always want to be appreciated. But most of the time, the part of you which drives you to do good is your conscience, therefore, is you yourself out of a good motive to help. And I believe doing your part to be good is never a waste. God sees and He knows. God bless you, kind people. :)

Home

When I get tired, I always ask: when can I be Home?

Home is where your heart is.
Home is where you can rest.

New Year Resolutions 2013

New Year's Resolution Coasters by Lucky Bee Press by BazaarBizarreSF, on Flickr

My 2013 resolutions:-

1. Personal
   - To be smarter and less careless. (Felt like I am getting careless lately)
   - To be more independent
   - Discipline. Make time tables etc.
   - Healthier lifestyle: sleep time, exercise, diet etc
   - Read more books! (at least one per month)
   - Pick up drawing (or doodleing) again
   - Write!
   - Improve in playing acoustic guitars & pick up lead this year
   - Go for holiday with family (hopefully foreign country other than Singapore)
   - Learn a new language: Spanish :D
2. Spiritual Growth
   - Consistent devotion and prayer time
   - Consistent memorizing verses
   - I want to hear God's voice clear!
3. Work & Skills
   - Learn more programming skills. Master a new language this year (jquery or something new, tba). Improve on existing skills (java, Appcelerator-related)
4. Ministry
   - Improve on serving, as in skills (musician) and quality
   - Extend the boundary of serving to daily life and surroundings
   - To evangelise
5. Relationships
   - Improve relationships with family
   - Hang out more/keep in touch with friends

It's already 8 January! Remember at the end of the month, 1/12 of the year has already passed! So don't waste time, make sure all your new year resolutions are ready up for launch!!

Christmas is about love and forgiveness

To love and to forgive.

Yesterday, pastor was talking this: forgiving the people who hurt you and stop hating them. And we had an altar call (that we can go out so the pastors can pray for us).

I went out because I knew that it's what I needed. There's this person whom I'm very angry at because of the pain and hurt this person has caused me.

I told God: I need a word from You. Like telling me what to do because I have no idea how. I want to get out of this struggle. I want to let things go and be happy.

And when the pastor prayed for me, I really cried out to God. I wept so bitterly. I was asking God to tell me something, like anything. There were three things mentioned that I knew those were from God. It was like a confirmation from God to tell me that He knows, even though I believed that. It was just comforting. "To be filled with God's love that there will be no spaces for the memories of hurt and pain", "To cast out the thoughts of revenge" and "To forgive the person no matter whether that person is near or far". Indeed, this person is far away and I constantly have these thoughts of revenge (I feel horrible) and very often those memories came back to haunt me.

And I asked God: How to forgive someone when they don't know that they have done wrong?

Isn't Jesus Himself a good example? He died for the world and they didn't know Him. He loves and forgives even when the world hated Him.

“Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil." (Ephesians 4:26-27)

That was what I did. I made myself a bitter person by hating someone. And I sinned against God when I thought I'm unloved and unwanted. I denied His love for me, and I forgot what Jesus has done for me on the cross and how precious I am in His eyes.

And with the bitterness in me, I poured my anger out on people.

All I want is to be free and to be able to love and forgive. But how can I forgive when I'm hurt so much?

I just want to say sorry to God, to the person I hated, and to everyone around me. I do not want to become someone who soak in self-pitying and spreading emotional aura around.

This Christmas, let's make peace. If you are hurt and you have bitterness within, you might not know that, but if you thought of anyone whose deeds or words might hurt you in certain ways, I'd love to pray for you. We all want people to understand us, but most of the time people can't understand us completely, but God knows and He understands.

Dear God,

I want to pray for myself and anyone who is reading this. Help us, God, so that we can love instead of hate. Fill our hearts and minds with Your love that we will have no space for all the memories of hurt and pain. Take our bitterness away and replace it with Your love, joy and peace. Help us to forgive, because sometimes we try to do that with our own strength and we cannot. But God, let Your love melt our hearts and heal all the wounds inside, because no one else understands, but You see, You listen, and You value every tear that we have shed. In this season of Christmas, help us to experience Your love and make peace with the people who have hurt us. And forgive us God, for holding grudges and hating which has made ourselves bitter. Bless us, God, with hearts filled with Your love. Thank You for loving us. In Jesus name. Amen.

P/s: Let things go before they drive you mad.

Discard the emotional junks

You number my wanderings;
Put my tears into Your bottle;
Are they not in Your book?
(Psalm 56: 8, NKJV)

I have been emotional lately. But I don't want to bring forward these emotional junks ahead.

I also told God that from now on, I'll surrender my heart and mind to Him. I haven't been doing that very well. I have to say, lots of times my own stubbornness brought me to bad endings. Bad, bad endings. And times like those I'd tell God "I should have listened to You!". Anyway, God is good. I don't mind that people don't understand that. They might laughed at me but I don't care. I just want God to fix me. Restore me and all my brokenness inside.

I wouldn't know what to do without You, God. Thank You. I want to do this well from now on. I do not deserve any chance but You offer me love, grace and mercy everytime. I don't wanna take them for granted so please help me to respond to You and may my life be acceptable unto You.

And in the right time, I know You will bring blessings to me accordingly.

This is very difficult for me, and I feel very weak, but please help me to be bold. And when that day I'm able to stand up and declare Your works on me, I will rejoice because I will see how great and awesome are Your works and plans despite my own self that stood between.

Praise God! :)

Jingle all the way... Merry Christmas, darlings!

Christmas is near! It's already 11 December, so let's make a post about Christmas.

Well, what Christmas is for? Christ-mas. Yes, it is to remember the birth of Jesus Christ.

Christ (/kraɪst/) (ancient Greek: Χριστός, Christós, meaning 'anointed') is a translation of the Hebrew מָשִׁיחַ (Māšîaḥ), the Messiah, and is used as a title for Jesus in the New Testament.

You can read the full wiki explanation of Christ HERE, if you don't mind to do some reading. Also, there are arguments about whether 25th December should be the birthday of Jesus. If you are interested I assume you would Google. Well, this is not really my point too.

Christmas. I don't know how I'm feeling about Christmas this year. It's my first Christmas since I got this new job. I am quite excited about being able to buy some nice presents for my family and friends. My activities around this time will be quite the same as the previous years: Christmas celebration in church, Christmas luncheon with my fellow brothers and sisters, gifts exchange session, Christmas presentation (lol, as usual), and etc.

Well what I was gonna ask is: do you celebrate Christmas? And why?

Because I think, if you celebrate an event, there must be a reason, right?

Sometimes. we just celebrate an event because it's a public holiday. I'm just curious bout how people think of Christmas, especially if they buy gifts for their friends (I think most Westerners do). Not sure if most people are gonna say "because everyone is buying gifts!"

That's something for myself to think about too, to remind myself of the meaning of Christmas.

Silent night! Holy night!
All is calm all is bright
Round yon virgin mother and child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace!
Sleep in heavenly peace!

Silent night! Holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Hallelujah
Christ the Saviour is born!
Christ the Saviour is born!

Silent night! Holy night!
Son of God love's pure light
Radiant beams from thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord at thy birth
Jesus, Lord at thy birth.

Here's a Silent Night by Lindsey Stirling. Merry Christmas, darlings!